Category Archives: Uncategorized

119: Josh & Christy Straub | Be Famous at Home



Today we’re chatting with our new friends here in Franklin, Dr. Josh and Christi Straub.  Josh & Christy are speakers, authors, and marriage and leadership coaches. Together, they lead Famous at Home, a company centered on emotional intelligence and family wellness. They also host the Famous at Home podcast, have written several wonderful books, including their latest book, Famous at Home, which we’re diving into today.

Josh & Christy unpack several simple decisions we can make as parents to shift the environment of our home. We chat about how to connect in meaningful ways with our kids, the importance of showing up as the best version of ourself, and practical ways we can intentionally create an atmosphere of peace in our home. This was such an incredible conversation with Josh & Christy,  we can’t wait to share it with you all!

Listen in.

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


118: Nicole Zasowski | The Rhythm of Celebration



Today we’re excited to welcome our friend Nicole Zasowski back to the show. Nicole is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, author, and speaker from the great state of Connecticut. We’re chatting with Nicole today about the practice of celebration: why it’s a vital part of our spiritual growth, the roadblocks that can keep us from celebrating, and some intentional ways we can begin to practice this important rhythm in our daily lives. 

We absolutely loved our time with Nicole. Excited to share it with you all. Make sure to check out Nicole’s latest book: What if it’s Wonderful 

Listen in. 

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


117: Johnathan Pitts | Navigating Grief and Loss



Today we’re so excited to welcome our friend Johnathan Pitts to the show.  Johnathan is an author, speaker, and executive pastor at COTC here in Franklin, TN. For years he served as the director of the Urban Alternative which is the national ministry of Dr. Tony Evans in Dallas, Tx.  Jonathan has co-authored two books alongside his late wife, Wynter Pitts. He is also President of For Girls Like You Ministries, a ministry for tween girls and their parents. 

In this conversation, Johnathan shares the highs and lows of his story, which has been quite a whirlwind over the last few years.  Just after celebrating 15 years of marriage to his wife Wynter, in the summer of 2018, Wynter passed away unexpectedly in her sleep. Johnathan shares his journey of grief and loss, how the Lord has carried him over the last few years, navigating life with his 4 daughters, finding their new normal, and trusting God for their future. This was such a beautiful, rich conversation with Johnathan. We were so blessed by the lessons he shared from his story. We can’t wait to share it with you. 

 

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


116: Shauna Niequist | Finding Beauty in a New Season



Today we’re so thrilled to welcome Shauna Niequist to the show. Shauna is the NYT’s best selling author of books such as Present over Perfect, Bread & Wine, and Savor. We sat down with Shauna to unpack her latest book (one of our very favorites of 2022) entitled, “I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet.” Shauna shares her journey of navigating life in a season of big change, about learning to let go, remake your life, and what it means to start over with curiosity and self-compassion.

This interview was one for us that could not have come at a better time, after navigating a similar move across the country with little kids, just before COVID, we just needed every. single. word. So, we can’t wait for you all to hear Shauna’s incredible story and the wisdom she shares along the way. No matter where this finds you today – we hope this conversation will be as helpful to you as it was to us! So, without further ado, lets jump into today’s conversation.

Here’s Shauna.

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


115: Ian Cron | Rewrite Your Story



Today we’re so thrilled to welcome our new friend, Enneagram Expert, and Best-Selling Author, Ian Cron to the show! Ian is an Episcopal Priest, a trained Psychologist, and author of some of the most helpful books you can find on the Enneagram, including the best- seller, The Road Back to You. If you’re looking for a good place to begin learning about the Enneagram, this is always a great place to start!

Today we’re talking with Ian about his latest book called The Story of You, using enneagram wisdom to rewrite the broken stories we tell ourselves about who we are! This interview was so rich, definitely one you’ll want to listen to over & over again. There’s an incredible 4 step process that Ian outlines for us today that would be so helpful to go through with your spouse or someone you love & trust, to really examine the story you’re living in, see how it lines up with the truth, and rewrite a newer, truer story of who you really are. This conversation was so powerful, we cannot wait to dive in. So let’s get to it.

Listen in.

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us
Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


114: The Rhythm of Staying in Awe



Thanks for joining us for this podcast series as we work our way through the 5 rhythms of thriving marriages from our book, The Rhythm of Us. Last week we talked about the fourth rhythm: Seeking Adventure, and we hope you all got a chance to try out some of the practices we talked through! If you did, we would love to hear how it went, you can find us at therhythmofus.com or on social media. We’d love to hear how you’re doing on this journey towards a thriving marriage.

Today we’re jumping into the fifth and final rhythm, The Rhythm of Staying in Awe. We’re unpacking the transformative power behind this practice as well as a few intentional ways we can begin to work this rhythm into our everyday lives! Listen in!

“The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders, where morning dawns and evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.”
Psalm 65:8

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


113: The Rhythm of Seeking Adventure



Thanks for joining us for this podcast series as we work our way through the 5 rhythms of thriving marriages from our book, The Rhythm of Us. Last week we talked about the third rhythm: Slowing Down, and we hope you all got a chance to try out some of the practices we talked through! If you did, we would love to hear how it went, you can find us at therhythmofus.com or on social media. We’d love to hear how you’re doing on this journey towards a thriving marriage.

Today we’re jumping into the fourth rhythm, The Rhythm of Seeking Adventure. We’re unpacking the transformative power behind this practice as well as a few intentional ways we can begin to work this rhythm into our everyday lives! Listen in!

“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”
John 10:10

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


112: The Rhythm of Slowing Down



Thanks for joining us for this podcast series as we work our way through the 5 rhythms of thriving marriages from our book, The Rhythm of Us. Last week we talked about the second rhythm: Serving, and we hope you all got a chance to try out some of the practices we talked through! If you did, we would love to hear how it went, you can find us at therhythmofus.com or on social media. We’d love to hear how you’re doing on this journey towards a thriving marriage.

Today we’re jumping into the third rhythm, The Rhythm of Slowing Down. We’re unpacking the transformative power behind this practice as well as a few intentional ways we can begin to work this rhythm into our everyday lives! Listen in!

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Psalm 90:12

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


111. The Rhythm of Serving



Thanks for joining us for this podcast series as we work our way through the 5 rhythms of thriving marriages from our book, The Rhythm of Us. Last week we talked about the first rhythm: Speaking Life, and we hope you all got a chance to try out some of the practices we talked through! If you did, we would love to hear how it went, you can find us at therhythmofus.com or on social media. We’d love to hear how you’re doing on this journey towards a thriving marriage.

Today we’re jumping into the second rhythm, The Rhythm of Serving. We’re unpacking the transformative power behind this practice as well as three intentional ways we can begin to work this rhythm into our everyday lives! Listen in!

“The greatest among you will be your servant.”
Matthew 23:11

Order your copy of The Rhythm of Us

Connect with Chris & Jenni:
https://therhythmofus.com
https://www.instagram.com/chrisgraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/jennigraebe/
https://www.instagram.com/therhythmofus/


110. The Rhythm of Speaking Life



There are a thousand ways we could choose to live our life together. We have a thousand different voices pulling at us from a thousand different directions at all times. We all have a vision for the life we want, but until we put purpose, intentionality, and action behind that vision, we will remain stuck in the current of the world around us. We need a set of intentional rhythms to guide us toward the life and marriage we envision.

Join Chris and Jenni Graebe on a journey of learning together what it means to craft a “rule of life” both individually and together as a couple. Leave behind the busy life of chaos and hurry, and learn to move toward a meaningful life of joy and intention.

Rhythm 1: Speaking Life

The tongue has the power of life and death.
Proverbs 18:21

Words create. God’s Word creates. Our words can participate in the creation.
Eugene Peterson

Think of the couples you admire most in your life. One thing we’ve noticed time and time again is that any thriving couple who has made it together over the long haul just has this incredible way of talking about each other, with a deep sense of admiration and respect. Take it to the bank. This foundational sense of deep respect simply must be present in order for a couple to thrive. Even in moments of conflict and frustration, there’s still an underlying sense of appreciation to lean on that keeps the couple strong.

It’s so important in a marriage to be able to respect each other as people. One of the things that sealed the deal for me with Chris, even when we were just friends, was how respected I felt by him. He just had this way of always noticing the absolute best in me and holding it up for the world to see. Things that I couldn’t even see in myself.

The words we speak to each other create the culture between us. If the environment of our relationship is filled with words of criticism and contempt, no amount of romantic gestures will make a dent of difference. But we hold the power to change the environment of our relationship simply by changing our words.

1. Affirm the Good

So, what are some practical ways we can begin to grow in this rhythm? Here’s the easiest place to begin: When you think something nice, say it out loud. This sounds very simple, I know—but it’s often the simplest things that can make the biggest difference.

I realize this practice will be easier for some than for others. When we first got married, this rhythm of speaking life did not come naturally to me at all. Over time, however, as I saw how important it was to Chris, and how easy it was for him to affirm those around him, this rhythm began to rub off on me. Just like everything else in life worth pursuing, speaking life takes practice. Give yourself plenty of grace and time, but just begin. When you think something nice, say it out loud. Awkward as it may be at first, just give it a try, and then another, and another. Over time, your spouse will begin to hold their head higher, and even grow stronger in the areas you take the time to intentionally acknowledge and affirm.

When he does the dishes, even if it’s not the way you would like them done, thank him and affirm his thoughtfulness. When she musters up the courage to try something new, even if she’s wobbly at first, shower her with praise for the grit and guts it takes to tackle a new skill. There will always be plenty of good to affirm and plenty of faults to criticize. The choice is ours. What will we choose to acknowledge and affirm? Remember, with each blessing we speak, we’re contributing to the reality of the person they’re becoming.

2. Affirm the Gift

We can take speaking words of life to a whole new level when we pray for eyes to notice and name the gifts and callings God has given our spouse. No one knows them better than you do, and no one’s opinion matters more than yours. We both entered our marriage as a whole person with dreams, gifts, and abilities. Part of a healthy, thriving marriage is acknowledging, nurturing, and prioritizing our spouse’s gifts, as well as our own. Look for those seeds of talent, ability, and passion; water them with your words; and watch them begin to blossom over time.

If he’s really good at photography, affirm that gift you recognize in him, and then help him get a website up or a portfolio put together. Maybe she comes alive when she’s writing. Surprise her with a few hours all to herself at her favorite coffee shop, to dream and write. The sky is the limit. When we get the opportunity to see someone we love doing what they love, we fall in love with them all over again.

3. Affirm the Truth

Thriving couples know who their spouse truly is, and they will always question the circumstances contributing to their spouse’s behavior before they question the character of their spouse. When life tries to pull us away from the person God’s called us to be, we can remind each other of our true identity in Christ. Thriving couples speak the truth in love.

One of my favorite Scripture verses is 1 Corinthians 5:7: “Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are.” As you really are. It’s easy to size ourselves and others up by the total sum of our faults, but the truth is, that’s not who we really are. According to God’s Word, if we are in Christ, we have been made new—not because of how perfectly we behaved today, but because of His sacrifice that covers us. So the old me, though she may show up from time to time, is not who I really am. I have been given a brand new identity in Christ. I am covered by the sacrifice of my Savior and made new in Him. What a gift, when my spouse, the most powerful voice in my life, can be the one to remind me.

Does that mean that we should avoid all conflict in our marriage or ignore harmful issues that bother us? Of course not. Part of loving someone well and speaking to the best of who they are will include being honest when conflict arises. And there isn’t a couple alive who doesn’t experience conflict. A healthy part of any marriage is having the freedom and trust to bring what bothers you out into the light, where you and your spouse can deal with it appropriately. The key is to speak to each other in a tone that is loving and kind, while also being open and honest about where we’ve been hurt. If we speak the truth in a way that belittles, accuses, or devalues our spouse, our words will be counterproductive.

Dr. Henry Cloud advises, “Be hard on the issue, but soft on the person.” Maturity in life and in marriage means being able to separate the person we love from the issues. And although I know it’s not easy, sharing openly about what’s bothering you with a heart of love and kindness will produce far better results than harsh words of truth ever will. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Give it a try. Watch what God will do. Sometimes all it takes is one word of love to reverse the cycle of unkindness. You could be the one to change it all. And right there, from one moment of kindness, the healing can begin.

Practice:

1. Spend some time with the Lord this week, asking Him to align the way you see your spouse to the way He does, and to help you treat your spouse accordingly.

2. Praise them in public this week (in front of actual humans, not on social media). Find something you genuinely admire in them, and then affirm it in a sincere way in front of your friends or family. Watch them lift their head a little higher.

3. What is your spouse good at? What causes their eyes to light up when they talk about it? Acknowledge it this week. Find a tangible way to make space for them to grow in it.

4. Is there an area of conflict with your spouse where you find yourself continually tempted to speak harshly? What would it look like for you to speak openly and honestly about how you feel without accusing, belittling, or devaluing them as a child of God?